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It started with letters. He wrote.

Dear Grand,

What are you up to these days?

I’m still trucking around restless as hell,. Got drunk at home guy’s house the other night. Spent the next day throwing up in garbage cans. This is suppose to be fun?

Sometimes I think I feel old, then I remember you, and wonder what it’s really like. Are you wise? If so, please pass some along to me. I’m so bored. I doubt if I’ll make forty, so you better hurry.

I like writing to you because I can say fuck and shit and you don’t worry about me. How did Mom get to be such a tight ass anyway.

Monday I start working at a car wash so I’ll probably be here for awhile, same address.

Love, Kid

She wrote,

Dear Kid,

In answer to your question “what am I up to...”

Walking,

mostly at night

I notice lamp posts, the patches of light they make, and my shadow.

You might ask “What’s the us of walking at night noticing lamp posts and shadows?” I could sit in the kitchen listening to the refrigerator kick on and off. I could watch T.V. I do buy groceries once or twice a week. Adventurous days I spend at the medical clinic in waiting rooms, opposite rash-covered babies and fat men sweating and coughing.

What’s it like to get old? Well, one day when the Dr. was poking me, frowning, I found my body had slipped quietly from slow mountain to loose swamp. At eighty-four, inevitable I suppose, nevertheless, it was one more shock to my self-concept. I find it amazing that this experience I call me still resides in a body I hardly recognize. I have considered shooting myself.

Now about wisdom. I have learned one thing, if you don’t take care of your teeth they will fall out of your head, leaving you with gum decay. Of course, they may fall out anyway.

Also, don’t waste time through up in garbage cans. Go immediately to some wild mountains. Sit in a creek and screech at birds. Find snow meadows to roll in, and remember to listen for bear grunts.

I’d like to walk on a dirt road, where it’s dark enough to see stars. I never heave learned to see beauty in sidewalks and gutters full of paper and dog shit.

Love,
Grand